Vanity

One of my favorite artists has a song with the following chorus:

"Safety is not for sale.

(You can not buy peace of mind)

Earthly defenses fail

(There's nothing new under the sky)

Build your kingdom all your life

And say goodbye

In the end, in the end" 

Here is a few verses from Ecclesiates that relate to this song: 

18 I hated all my toil in which I toil under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will come after me, 19 and who knows whether he will be wise or a fool? Yet he will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 So I turned about and gave my heart up to despair over all the toil of my labors under the sun, 21 because sometimes a person who has toiled with wisdom and knowledge and skill must leave everything to be enjoyed by someone who did not toil for it. (Eccles 2)

This is such a sad passage to me. Here on earth we work and set goals, but ultimately one day anything we gained will be lost to someone after us. And this person will either work just as hard to hold onto whatever it is, or hardly work and lose it all to a third party. How interesting to think that when I die, all that I have accumulated with be split among others. And sooner or later it will be lost. Essentially this says to me that no matter how hard I work for things, it won't matter after I die. Because then it becomes someone else's property. 

But then I continued on and read this passage from the same chapter: 

24 There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, 25 for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment? 26 For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God. This also is vanity and a striving after wind. (Eccles 2) 

These verses give hope! It says God is the one that gives enjoyment, even while working! And that we receive joy and knowledge as we please God. But the sinner, the one living apart from God does not receive the joy that we Christians do. They have no true purpose apart from God. And because of this, the things the sinner seeks to accomplish on earth results in joyless toil. Work insinuates progress. Work is what we do for the Lord. But toil is useless repition with no eternal effects. 

This reminds me of Matthew when he says 

19 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (6:19)

When we make Jesus our treasure, we could never be dissatisfied. And we could never get caught up in the middle of pointless toil. It becomes fruitful work that will never go to waste. Because what we work for as Christians is not earthly things, but ways to glorify God. 

Seeking first the Kingdom of God

Above all else I pray that I glorify Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

Something that brings me joy more than almost anything else is listening to people who actually live this out. Not only in separate parts of their lives, but their entire lives. All of it. And they are able to say "I've done this. I've been obedient, and I have spiritual fruit because of it." I want to learn from those kind of people. The ones that are so desperate to be close to the heart of God, and have developed burdens from listening to God's voice, even when it's difficult.

They have experience that I pray to one day have for myself. I want to seek first the kingdom of God. More than myself, more than my family, more than my friends. And however hard that is, I want to trust God every step of the way. I can't help but be overwhelmed that God has asked me to help him bring his children back to him. It's a huge task. And it will require a lot of surrendering. But I'm up for the challenges that lay ahead.

John 10:30

John 10 talks about Jesus being the Good Shepherd, and how he loves and guides His sheep. Towards the end in verse 30 Jesus says "I and the Father are One."

A lot of people have an issue with this. There are some who believe in God. And there are some that believe in Jesus. But the moment you mention Jesus being the Son of God, and that they are one in the same, chaos breaks out and people are offended.

For some reason, I imagine there being a company and having two owners. They both possess the same amount of power when making decisions for their company.  If Owner A has a meeting without Owner B, Owner A can make decisions on his own and Owner B will know he had the best of intentions. He has the same amount of authority as if both were present.
And so it is with Jesus and God the Father. Their hearts are the same.


Any mention of the Holy Spirit opens up another can.

This Battle Takes Diligence.

                  In order to be called a follower of Christ, there are a few things that I have learned are necessary. One of these is to show others what you have learned so that they may know Truth for themselves. This isn't always easy. Sometimes I find myself hesitating because I don't want to offend someone. But as time goes on I have realized that the gospel is meant to be offensive. If people are living selfishly and not caring about God, of course they will feel upset or hurt when presented with the gospel. If I lived my whole life seeking something I thought would fulfill me and then was told it was all a waste, I would no doubt feel hurt, or stupid, or maybe even too prideful to consider any other life style. 

                  But the most beautiful thing is when you have a friend that is willing to lay these kinds of feelings aside to discover something so much greater than ever imagined. 

                  A second necessity is to glorify God with everything you are and everything you do. And another is to constantly be directing others to the importance of living holy and righteous lives- the heart behind this and not just the law. 

                  So we have heard the truth- that Jesus came and died a horrible death to reconcile man to his God. And now we must tell others so that the entire planet may know and accept or reject the truth for what it really is. What matters here is that what people are presented with is actually the message of Jesus, and not some half-truth that makes people feel good. 

                  And there is no laziness here. We must be full of diligence and servanthood and love if anyone is to see who Christ really is. 

2 Timothy 2:2

"And the things you have heard from me among many witness, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." 

Secret Heart

Long drives in the car alone have proven to be super restful for me. Today, I couldn't help but be grateful for everything The Lord has saved me from. For redemption from a broken past, and provision for a bright future. My heart used to be very hard, but I was good at hiding it from the people around me. And as time went on, I pulled myself away from those who meant most to me. One of many factors that played into this was a secret heart I hid, with selfish intentions behind all of my actions. 

My friends and I often say "God knows your heart." And I completely and fully agree with this statement. It is most adequate that God, the one who knows us better than any other, will be the one to judge us. But I think this is often used as an excuse to defend ourselves and our motives to those around us. 

Prior to walking with Jesus, I didn't know that there existed a difference between pleasing God and pleasing people. I have had to really put effort into examining the incentives I had behind doing things. 

---For example, do I serve others so people think I'm a nice person, or do I serve others so they see Jesus as the true servant in my character.

---Do I give money to the church so they see me tithing (donating), or do I give money because I truly understand that Jesus was generous and all things come form Him?

---Do I forgive a friend to partially ignore heartbreak, or do I forgive because Jesus first forgave us? 

The answer is: God knows your heart behind everything you do. Anything I ever did because I cared of my reputation means absolutely nothing if Jesus wasn't my motivation for doing such actions. Instead of turning to myself, I now know I have to look unto Jesus. 

I have learned that what is most important is dependent on what God thinks, not people. People can't see your secret heart. They don't know your agenda. But with God, it's already all out in the open. And you can't hide anything. 

Trusting

(This post is more for myself than it is for anyone else to read. I need an outlet to adjust back to life in Texas, and this seems to be the best fit)

Being back home in San Antonio is a very strange feeling. I think I got a case of reverse culture shock big time when I returned to the states. I've never experienced it before. I love seeing everyone, and visiting, and remembering what my life was like prior to going to Chile. Coming home to my beautiful roommates having movie nights or working out. Or my best friend that always listens and loves. My family eager for my next visit. But the truth remains, I want to be in Chile so bad.

I've been thinking about when I first started trusting Jesus about 3 years ago. I would always pray with the attitude of "if it's your will God, I know it will happen." But before I left Chile, I found myself pleading "please God, send me back here. Don't let this be the only time, the last time." I have faith and trust that God will use me as a tool for His kingdom no matter where I am. And this stems from the idea that my mission field is where my feet are. If I'm in San Antonio, I have to trust that this is where God wants me right now. This is where I will minister and witness and serve until God sends me somewhere else (which I am anxiously awaiting). I know the more I think about Chile and the beautiful friends we made and the community, sometimes it makes me upset to realize that isn't home anymore. But other times it brings me comfort to know that Jesus is still ALIVE and working. Not only there in Chile, but in the entire world. It is by faith that we receive grace, and it is through grace that we may serve. I have to keep reminding myself of this.

My prayers are that God continues to work in the country of Chile, and that even here in the states we be affected by their workers and their ministries.

Thoughts from Santiago, Chile

Thank God that He was benevolent enough to give us a second covenant. The first became faulted as time moved on and humans chose a life separated from God. But Jesus came as the High Priest, the only one allowed in the part of the tabernacle known as the Holiest of All, to give a sacrifice. Prior to this, the priests offered goats and calves as the sacrifices for the sins committed in ignorance. And these animals had to be the best of the best, without fault or blemish.  But when people continued to stray from God, this had to be done repeatedly. So Jesus came and gave one sacrifice. His perfect self. Jesus couldn't have been anything other than perfect. This must be true because He wouldn't command His followers to be perfect as said in Matthew 5:48 if it was impossible. And since He was perfect and still is perfect, He was the perfect sacrifice, which means we no longer need them. If animals can be used as offerings to purify the flesh, we should be obligated to recognize HIS offering. Animals can't love you and chose for your highest good as another human can. The animal sacrifices were done out of convenience. But Jesus' sacrifice was done out of love. This offering was powerful enough for Jesus to do away with the "dead works" from our life and allow us to serve God afterward. Christ is literally the go-between that gives us redemption from sins. 

As I spend more and more time here in Chile, I think of reasons explaining why I am here. What brought me here? Why do I enjoy living here? Why don't I want to leave? And every time I come back to understanding that Jesus is worth it. If He thought I was worth it, to die, then how much more is He worth it? I could never imagine anything that wasn't inferior to how much I value Jesus. 

Every single person we know, or love, or pass on the street is someone that Jesus died for. Whether their life reflects His love and mercy or not, He presented Himself as a sacrifice to die that they may live a redeemed life. May we as followers of Jesus never forget this. 

11 But Christ came as High Priest of the good things to come, with the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made with hands, that is, not of this creation. 12 Not with the blood of goats and calves, but with His own blood He entered the Most Holy Place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption. 13 For if the blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling the unclean, sanctifies for the purifying of the flesh, 14 how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? 15 And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance." -Hebrews 9:11-15

Encouraging Thoughts

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:1-2

Lately, the Lord has been encouraging me to think about the life I had before I truly met Him. Sometimes people are blessed to grow up in a home with parents that love Jesus and are constantly around fellowship that causes them to hunger for more of God. For myself, this was not the case. Growing up, I knew I had a Creator, but never a Savior. Reflecting to younger parts of my childhood, I remember praying every single night. I never had anyone sit me down and say, "Julia this is how you pray. Julia, this is how you intercede for people. Julia, this is how you give God glory."But yet, I still had some kind of push in my spirit telling me how to do these things on my own at as little as 6 years old. I could recite for you the same prayer I said every night before falling asleep; I couldn't tell you how many times I attempted to conquer Genesis. But no matter how silly my prayers were, I knew God was always listening to me. And no matter how many times I failed to remain dedicated to reading scripture, I knew I had to keep trying again and again until I understood what I was reading.

I can't get over how incredible that is. That even when we aren't seeking Jesus, He still finds a way to meet with us. Whether it was childlike prayers, or a yearning to read Scripture (even though I had no clue what half of it meant) I can honestly say that God was with me. We all have struggles in life, and experiences we probably wish we didn't have to deal with. But after seeing how much Jesus loves us, and His passion to still seek after us during those tough times, I can't dedicate my life to anything else. I literally cannot deny the work I have seen the Lord do in my life. I would be a fool to think anything else was even close to being worthy of my efforts and my desires.

It's not always super awesome to think about the past; it can stir up some hurtful things . But thank you Jesus for renewal, and for provision apart from that past!

Funky Life

Sometimes I feel as though every ounce of energy in my entire body has just been flushed away, and there's no legitimate way to get it back. And this energy drain could be from everyday life stuff, so there is no escaping it. But there is no excuse to remain in this funk. I know that when we pray and ask, and nothing happens, and we continue to pray and still nothing happens, yet we still choose to pray and ask God, He receives so much glory for His faithful servants. I can't imagine how joyful God is that His people abide in Him even when we don't see what all is happening around us.

I know that out of everyone in this world, God always listens to me. Even if I feel far away from Him, He still listens. And I know that He wants what is best for me, even when I don't understand. Thank you Lord for always being attentive.

Under Attack?

"If you feel like Satan is attacking you, it's because you're allowing him to."

This is something a friend told me years ago, and it's been on my mind all morning. She told me this during a season of my life when I was super confused as to where God wanted me to go and who God wanted me to become. I was okay with being passive and allowing myself to slip away because I thought oh, it will pass. But now I need to reflect that there is a difference between inactivity and waiting.

Remember that this spiritual war is won by ideas and attitudes. So if my attitude is that Satan is attacking me spiritually, then what am I doing to counter his attack? Am I praying against temptation? Am I isolating myself from people who can keep me in my right mind? Proverbs says that a man that isolates himself seeks his own desires.

I think it's important for us to always go back to the basics. It's fun for us to discuss super in depth ideas but honestly, there's so much we will never know until we meet God face-to-face in heaven. But when we go back to the basics of just knowing that God is with us always, that He won't leave nor forsake us, and that He knows all things, we can feel more confident in our faith that whatever we feel we are going through, we aren't alone. That in the bottom of the valley, we aren't alone. That in the darkness, we are being led by a familiar hand led by a beautiful heart.

Feel free to comment how we as Christians must respond when we have this attitude :)

So Grateful

Lately, I feel as though The Lord has really been revealing to me all the things He has saved me from. I am so overwhelmed with gratefulness of the person that God prevented me from becoming. I can't help but think of how my life would be if God wasn't with me during my entire upbringing, even when I didn't know He was. 

I think so often we get caught up in the moment and how our lives are now that we forget to reflect on the previous 6 months, or 2 years, or even 10 years. This is what is most encouraging to me, to see a drastic difference in my motives, my attitudes, and my heart, all of which are only possible if Christ is the center of my life. How lonely and lost I remember feeling, but thank you Jesus I no longer feel that way! In times where satan tempts me, I can turn to the Lord and know He will fill my with His Spirit, and push those insecurities aside. Praise God that He can and chooses to renew our hearts constantly, and that we will never reach a point where we don't depend on Him

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

O, How I Long to be Close to Thee

Talking with a sweet friend today got me thinking a lot about what the Lord has been doing in my heart these past few months. I've been praying for many different things as of late, and time and time again I see the Lord working in each area of my life that I've prayed specifically for. One of these things has been to love people where they're at, just the same as I want God and others to love me where I'm at. And through this prayer the Lord gave me a couple things to focus on; free will and convictions. It has been through these that God has been teaching me  how to properly love Him and others.

So backing up just a bit, God loves us. I often find myself stopping everything else to just let this resonate in my spirit before moving on with whatever task I'm attacking in that moment. God loves us, so much. Jesus loves us, so much. God's Holy Spirit loves us, so much. And what I love about Christianity is that because God loves us more than we could even begin to understand, He gives us free will. Now some see free will with the "God loves me and will forgive me so I can choose to do whatever I want and He will still love me regardless " type of attitude. But really, it's that God wants us to recognize His love for us and be so drawn to it that we never want to let go. That we choose to seek after it. That we yearn for it more than anything else this world could offer us. What struck me today was how beautiful God uses free will to draw us closer to Him by making it look different for everyone through convictions. 

It took awhile for me to catch on, but God has graciously been teaching me about convictions for awhile now. Not only by giving me my own personal convictions but by helping me to realize that the convictions that God's Spirit had been putting on other's hearts aren't always necessarily the same as mine. Through these differences, we are able to see Jesus strategically at work in so many ways. Always reaching people, but reaching out to them in whatever way they are ready for.  1 Corinthians 10:13 says "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." This sweet scripture reminds me that though we may all be different, we are all God's children that He is constantly pursuing. When we walk with God through life, He gives us things to surrender to Him that we will be capable of laying down in order to be closer to Him. But these things are not always the same for everyone. For some it may be cussing and using fowl language, others it could be spending too much time working-out or carelessly wasting time, or not enough time praying. This world is full of ideas and superficial crap we should easily be able to give up in order to remain close to Jesus. 

What is so interesting to me is that often non-believers tend to think Christianity is full of check lists for us to live by in order to get into heaven. But I think when we merge free will (the idea that God allows us the decision to choose Him or things of this world) and convictions (specific things or ideas to surrender to God) together, it truly represents how much of our faith is linked to a personal relationship with Jesus, (which no other religion has to offer). I began to think about my closest friends. None of them could ever replace another. And each of them hold a special place in my heart that no other person will ever be able to fill. I linked this to my relationship with Jesus. It is a personal relationship, unlike any other, that no one else could ever take the place of.

God uses these convictions as stepping stones to be close to Him. We can decide whether to use them to be nearer to God, or to push them aside and risk falling away from His voice.

I love the idea of God reaching His people. I am grateful that I am not just some robot responding to commands from a manufacturer, but that I am genuinely loved by the Creator of the universe and that my relationship with Him is unlike any other. That I am special, and that no on else is exactly like me. I have truly grown to appreciate God giving us free will to choose Him, instead of instructing us to do so. And I enjoy learning who God is through the convictions His Spirit gives me when He knows I am ready to conquer them. 

Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me."

So basically, God grants us free will to choose whether or not to respond righteously to convictions, and through that we can be closer to Him. Pretty stinking rad :)